I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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