I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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