totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
