there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish you could order shots online.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
