sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
