So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
