do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
