I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
