Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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