i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
