North Korea, Best Korea!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
