let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize