based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
