So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Oh god it's open bar.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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