That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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