so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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