i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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