I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
