doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
