Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
