Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
