Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
