just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Panties = found
Randomize
