I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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