just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
