I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
