suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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