eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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