i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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