There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
