Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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