I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
