I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
