I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
