He kissed a someone with a penis
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
