Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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