ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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