i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
