Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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