You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize