I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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