There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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