My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize