Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
