I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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