WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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