I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
