may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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