can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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