He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
