I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i out mim tonsoeep
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