toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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