Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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