so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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