I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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