Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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