Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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