Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wear drunk well.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
