we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
