i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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