why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
