he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize