My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
