i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize