My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
