there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
wow bdsm is so cute
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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