i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
