my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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