I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just tell him i said nine months
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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