I puked a lego.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
