jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
