You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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