So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize